Tyrant

The Tyrant will quickly become the centerpiece of your kitchen counter, and they'll do it with absolute authority!  This kitchen utensil features 7/8" x 1 1/8" finger holes for a sure grip, and they are big enough to fit the ham-fisted chef in your kitchen.  They are made from AerMet 340, tough enough for aircraft tailhooks, input shafts, and armor, so more than tough enough for tenderizing your meat.  The palm rest sits just right in your hand to aid you with the tougher cuts.  

These aren't for carrying around, they are a kitchen utensil. Don't do dumb stuff and break laws.  Do yourself a favor and research the laws for your locality so you don't cause yourself a headache.